Blog #6 When Paradise is Not Enough
‘tis the Season for Consideration
‘tis the Season for…love, celebration, bitterness, anger, envy…wait, what?
Most people would say we live in paradise. Not many places are as safe, wealthy, clean, and simply gorgeous, with abundant service support, and proximity to restaurants, hospitals, stores, malls – you name it, along with the biggest Walmarts and Targets on the planet.
Oh, yeah, beaches.
If you are not happy living here, where?
It seems incongruous, but we have residents and snowbirds who are clearly unhappy, and bitter, if not angry with themselves, others, and more. Even a reasonable level of tolerance and accommodation is absent for the privileged few who live here.
Fortunately, I am talking about the few and not the many.
But even so, why? I mean, I shake my head sometimes when it becomes obvious some are irascible, petulant, and otherwise uncivil. I can understand politics being a problem, but I refrain from including that topic as it is an impossible situation for many.
When I meet those who are irate about something, I take them as a kind of research project to learn what drives such contention among residents in paradise. In so doing, I learn.
In full disclosure, I will admit guilt for being difficult, belligerent, and impatient at many times, especially in my early days pursuing a high-stress career while juggling balls with night school, kids, Army Reserve duty, business travel, along with keeping a wife happy and house maintained. Those are excuses, even as real as they are – especially trying to keep your wife happy all the time. (OK, I needed that chuckle.)
It would seem to many that once you retire, things would settle down a bit. But, oh, you would be wrong.
It is a time of grandkids, downsizing homes and belongings, health issues, financial restrictions, and loss of friends. Worse is the uncertainty of things at a time when you won’t be able to take action as you did in your youth.
For sure, everyone has a story. Life is not easy. Survival is a constant challenge. No matter the apparent wealth of individuals, it typically was not easy to earn it unless inherited, which brings a separate set of problems. Building wealth means taking risks and that will drive stress and relentless anxiety.
Someone reminded me that whatever your age, how many weekends do we have left? Time is working against us. We all know our name has a date on it, but just not now, we hope.
So, we have a deliberate choice to make. How do we want to live? What changes should be made about our expectations and their relative importance? The focus must shift to priorities. How important is our emotional and physical health? The old cliché refers to the idea that there’s no point in worrying about things you can’t change. Let go of the things you can’t control so you can focus on happiness and peace.
Letting go means not holding grudges, allowing forgiveness, being flexible, and accepting disappointments as part of the game of life. We all have baggage, but carrying it adds to anyone’s burden and it is so unnecessary.
I also read that the basis for most anger is fear. Think about that. If you can determine the fear, you have a better path to peace, harmony, and acceptance.
It is time to downsize mentally, unload the baggage, renew life and decide to value every moment God will give us until the date arrives when none of it will matter anymore. None of it.
Yeah, that is not easy for most of us to comprehend. Even if you can, you must internalize it in a way that drives appropriate positive responses. And if we want more friendship, love, and joy in our life, we must consider the possibilities.
‘tis the Season for such consideration for yourself and others. At the very least, we need to remember kindness is magic. It is the gift that keeps giving.
Again, if not now, when?
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!